♦Mercury ~ Sketch 01

♦Drawings

Mercury:
Sketch 01

Venus:

Mars:

Jupiter:

Saturn:

Uranus:

Neptune:

♦LIFE ON THE ROAD part 2

Mars and Jupiter had talked to the rest of the band, and Pluto knew exactly what to do then. He and Mars went to the park, leaving the others to wait for the news, as they searched for their friend.

It wasn't long until the albino bassist found Mike, and instructed Mars to wait for him while he spoke to the other redhead. Making his way through the trees, he wrapped his arms around the other, pulling him close.

"You promised not to do it…" He said, as Mike hugged back and buried his face in his shoulder, nodding softly.

"I'm sorry… I just can't believe you're leaving the band…" The redhead answered, in a whisper. "I won't do it again, I'll stop." He looked up, meeting Pluto's eyes. "It's just…"

"Mike, it's not like I'm going to abandon you… I'm just not going to play with the band, but I'll stick around, you know." Pluto smiled softly, making Michael nod and hug him again. "Now let's get those cuts cleaned and go back to tell everyone you're okay."

"Sorry." Mike muttered again, as they stood. That just got him a chuckle and a nod, and he smiled at how the other could make him feel better. He was still not liking the idea that Pluto would leave the band, but if he could still be close to the other it already made things much better.

~With Akira~

Akira hugged his pillow, smiling and closing his eyes. For some reason, he wasn't as nervous about facing his class the next day, maybe because Yuu had helped him calm down and well… he had been watching him for some time before that, just to talk to the other boy was like a dream come true to him.

Closing his eyes, he thought about a time Solar sYstem played at the school. Sure, the band wasn't that old, it was just recently, but they were so good. And he had felt he wanted to be there with them, onstage, at that moment, or get in a band… that's what made him take music even more seriously, seeing that people in his school were already going forwards. Maybe he could do it, too.

"I want to play at the Budokan some day… if that isn't too far off to dream." He chuckled, then grinned. He fell asleep with that thought in mind, and it followed him into his dreamland.

And there he was, standing on stage with the members of Solar sYstem, playing the bass. The crowd cheered and screamed, singing along with Yuu. There were people that were crying, too, from the emotion of seeing them, or of them having made it to that stage.

And he seemed to be so normal there, a good bassist, playing well, flowing along with the emotions, the song, everything seemed like a new but known experience, as if he'd been on stage many times before, but each time held new emotions and surprises.

And then there was the real life him, who was seeing all that and somehow, even in the dream, still thinking along with it. He really didn't know what he was doing there, on that stage, in Pluto's place. It didn't make sense that he'd replace the other in a dream, since he wouldn't wish him to leave the band even in real life.

Blinking, he noticed something. During the guitar solo, Yuu –Jupiter- had walked over to him, and he leaned his head back and then they kissed. It was onstage, it was fan-service, but as much as he wished it he couldn't see himself doing that. And his cheeks were pink as the vocalist pulled away to let him continue playing, but he acted normally. And the crowd seemed to scream five times louder.

"Akira! Akira, you're late!" He groaned as his mother's voice woke him up, and nodded, getting up to get ready for school. Hopefully, he'd be able to talk to Yuu again. That made his day brighter than it would be otherwise, knowing his classmates were going to tease him. More.

<-part 1 - part 3->

♦LIFE ON THE ROAD part 1

After rehearsal, the whole band was relaxing in different areas of Jupiter's apartment, since they were tired from the long hours of playing. It seemed to be all calm, until a loud banging sound was heard and Michael walked out of the room he was in, moving to leave the apartment.

Mars took hold of his wrist, pulling him back and holding him in place so he wouldn't leave. He noticed that the other boy flinched when he did that, and before he could say something, a warm wetness was felt on his palm.

He let go to see what it was, and while he was staring at the blood that now coated his hand, Mike took his chance and escaped, going out into the streets and probably back to his own corner.

"…" Mars shook his head, sighing. "Jupiter… he's cutting again…" He looked at the vocalist, worried, and then lowered his head. "You know why, right?"

"Yeah." The blond walked over to his friend, frowning. "We have to make sure he doesn't continue, or this is going to be even a bigger problem than last time."

"Should we let Pluto know?"

"Yes, we can't hide it from him."

~Meanwhile~

The redhead ran away from the building, going to the park and hiding between a concentration of trees, gripping his wrist tight. His cuts from the previous night had opened, and now they would probably think he was back to cutting as he did before.

It was tempting, but he didn't want it. He was just filled with worry and Pluto was just… leaving. Pluto was leaving the band and he didn't even tell him anything until the decision was already made. As much as he could understand, it wouldn't be the same without him on stage. He wouldn't be able to watch the band play with another bassist, to go to rehearsals and have someone else in his friend's place.

That, and the thought of being away from him for long, plus other things that had been haunting his mind… He just was too tempted when that knife presented itself in front of him, he couldn't form the no as an answer.

But he knew he wouldn't repeat it, he had it in mind not to repeat ever again… But now his friends would shower him with questions they already knew the answer to, which was going to be a bother.

"… Damn…" He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the tree. The bleeding had already stopped, but the cuts were still stinging. "I'm not going to let him be replaced…"

<-prologue - part 2->

♦Jupiter x Mercury ~ STRESS ~ Oneshot

Jupiter sighed, sitting down with his head in his hands. He could be the band leader and the most responsible, but this was overdoing it. Expenses, papers, ideas, shows, instruments, dates, music, capacity, time, rehearsals, contests, recording, family problems, work, school, it was all falling onto his shoulders and the problems just seemed to get bigger and bigger.

They hadn't had school for the last three days, so he'd been locked up in his apartment, alone, trying to solve all that, finish essays, find ways to get more money, glued to the phone until the latest hours, waking up to the internet before the first ray of sun.

His head hurt, but he'd taken so many pills it wasn't even healthy already, to take more would be suicide. Pills for stress, sleep, then for keeping him awake, painkillers… worse of all, he hadn't seen Mercury for ages. Rehearsal had to be put forwards to another day, since everyone seemed or too busy or too sick, or something that didn't let them meet up.

Just when he was about to rest, lying down on the couch, the doorbell rang. Groaning, he stood and made his way to the door, knowing he'd kill the first person he saw if it didn't happen to be Mercury or something important. Thankfully for him, so he wouldn't be charged for homicide, it was his lover.

And then he realized he had just a random pair of pants on, a torn, stained shirt, his hair was a mess, his eyes were deep and the place around him was chaos. So unlike him, and so… something like what the others, with the exception of Venus, would love to live in.

"Uh… sorry for the mess?" He muttered nervously, looking down. Two seconds later he was hugged tight by the smaller boy, who looked up at him with a worried face.

"You're going to sit down, let me get you something to eat, eat it, drink water, and go to bed. Computer, cell phone, telephone and anything close to that, turned off. I don't care what arguments you have, we're not leaving this place until you rest well. Tomorrow we're skipping school because you need some fresh air before rehearsal, and don't say no to it, I know you've locked yourself up between the room and the kitchen for most of the time." Said Mercury, blocking any chance of protest from the blond as he blinked and nodded, smiling softly at the other.

"And you've been just worrying yourself dead about it, haven't you?" He asked, leaning down and pecking the brunette's lips. "Sorry for that, just a lot of stress…"

The door was closed behind them as Mercury guided the much taller boy into the apartment again, and sat down on the couch where Jupiter had been, motioning for him to sit beside him. At his mercy, the blond could do nothing but obey, soon finding the other seated on his lap.

"I'll help you out with that, okay?" The younger's smile was back as he looked at Jupiter, making him smile back and nod. Leaning in Mercury claimed the other's lips in a soft kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck while arms circled his waist and brought him closer, the blond taking control over the now deepened kiss.

Eyes slipped closed as they moved their lips against each other's, hands tangling in soft and messy hair, lips parting and letting some air in for a brief moment before connecting again, parting soon after. Small smiles forming on both faces, the younger snuggling closer to his lover.

"We still have to get you something to eat…"

"Yeah… but let me hold you a little longer, I don't like staying away for too long."

"Hm…" Mercury smiled, closing his eyes and leaning his head on Jupiter's shoulder, relieved the other felt more relaxed now.

♦Jupiter x Mercury ~ EMOTIONS ~ Oneshot

I walked out that door, my face emotionless, my eyes empty and head held normally, like any other person on a normal day. But as soon as I stepped into a safer place, a place far away, I let that mask fall as my eyes showed the wetness locked inside them and my throat unlocked, letting my face free to express the pain and loneliness I felt at that moment.

It didn't take more than the second to lock the door, I just couldn't hold my sobs as my lungs seemed to be empty and make me gasp for air, as I slid down onto the floor of my apartment and cried like I hadn't in a very, very long time.

My heart hurt to bad, I felt so tense and weak, my head was practically spinning as I leaned it back against the wall, hugging my knees as I let out a silent scream. I didn't let the sound go out, but I felt it tearing in my throat as my jaws tensed terribly and I tried to hold things in. I knew I wouldn't be able to.

More tears fall down, I wipe them away with my shirt, but it's not as if they stop. More keep coming, and I can just sigh and try to keep my breath, try to keep the sound in as all off this pours out. My whole body is hurting from this, even though it's more of an emotional pain… all this tension ended up extending it to the physical.

Something inside me was breaking even more, I just couldn't stand holding back as more sobs came up. I grabbed a cushion that had fallen off the couch and hugged that tight, hoping to find comfort in it. That reminded me of when I was crying, before, instead of a cushion I could have someone's arms around me, holding me close…

Whimpering, I managed to gasp for air before more sobs came from my throat. I remembered those moments, and that promise… we were a family from the beginning, they accepted me so well, we promised to stay together forever, no matter what happened. Was that broken so easily? Do they still accept me? Can I accept that, them, and myself?

I can't understand this, it's such a complicated situation for one to be them. I know them but now, I feel like a complete stranger. My band mates, my friends, the only family I have left… what happened? I curl up more, thinking of it. It hurts so much to think this could have ended it, and I don't know how it started, if it was me, or him, or maybe someone else.

What's worse is that all this pain… I know I was the one to hurt him, I said all that, I ended this… I feel so guilty but I doubt I'd have the courage to face him, even if it were to say sorry. Even if it were to see him one last time before I vanish from earth.

I feel the need to curl up in bed, in the far corner, cover myself in blankets and just stay there. Sleep, maybe, but no food, no water… just let time take me away. I'm so radically emotional at times, I still don't know how to control it, or how even the smallest thing can hit me so hard. Sure, this isn't a small thing.

I run my fingers through my hair, clench my fist, and pull. Not hard enough to tear, just to hurt. I need to snap out of this, think, find a way to apologize. I'm sure I made him hate me, but if there's a small chance of that not being true… I don't know if I can stand to be forgiven. Why are all these things so hard?

Suddenly I feel so weak… my breath is near normal, the sobs stop, only the tears go on rolling as I fall to my side, managing to put the cushion under my head. It isn't that long until I pass out.

~~~

My mind is racing over his words, over what he did, but I know he didn't mean it all. I know him well, he's just so emotional and fragile, if he's still awake by now he must be crying. Some would call him weak, but it's not his fault all that happens. I should have known what to say to make him calm down and make him stay, but I ended up being stabbed by those words.

For someone usually so cheerful and cute, he knows how to be cold and cruel when it comes to it. But he always breaks down right after it, I've seen it happen before. He was feeling numb, after numbness comes loss of control in some form, and well… if he snaps, he breaks.

Gathering whatever strength I have left, I stand and grab the keys to his apartment, I still have my copy of them. He was to move in here next week, though… Shaking my head, I leave and lock the door behind me, heading to the building he lives in. I grabbed a hat to cover my eyes, and I think it's safe to assume no one would notice my state before I got up there.

The building is almost empty, it's a cold time of the year even though it's not winter just yet. This is a considerably small city unless we have snow or it's plain summer, which explains it. I sigh, going up the stairs and finally standing in front of the dark, wooden door. I test the key, and notice he left his own key in. Luckily, I manage to push it out because of how it was left, opening the door.

Beside the door, curled up and with his head on a cushion, was the one I was looking for. And I was right, he cried himself to sleep, right on the floor… I can hear music in the background, and for the lyrics, it certainly didn't help him. Shaking my head, I pick him up carefully and walk to the bedroom, sitting down on the bed.

Throwing my hat somewhere to the side, I lay down and pull him close, kissing his forehead and holding him protectively. I know that as soon as he wakes up we'll have to find some way to deal with this situation, but being here with him gives me the comfort I needed to be able to keep him with me.

For the rest of the night, I didn't dare close my eyes to rest. I won't let him run away from me this time, I'm sure we can solve this… at least he looks peaceful now, sleeping so calmly. I still have to figure out what exactly started all this, but if we manage to sort things out without knowing I can try leaving that back.

~~~

I yawned softly, I felt so warm… my lungs felt heavy, which told me I cried myself to sleep, but this warmth… As memories came flashing back, I also noticed he was awake and right here holding me. Looking up, I met his eyes. Green eyes, filled with that love and warmth, and with the comfort I knew I needed.

But I couldn't ask that of him, after doing what I did… I looked back down, and tried to move away. I know it won't work, when I'm like this I can't get away from him… sighing, I look back up and bite my lower lip, hesitating.

"Yuu…"

"Don't… don't worry about it, okay?" He smiled, and I knew he meant his words. But I couldn't not worry, it just wasn't possible. "And stop blaming yourself, you know it's not something good for you…" Can he read my mind or something? I almost forgot that…

His smile is so warm that I can't help but smile back slightly, for only a second, as my heart seems lighter. He kisses me, it's soft, slow and gentle, a comforting kiss. It works, I should stop being so vulnerable but at the same time I'm thankful for this, I need it. And as long as I can try to make him happy… I can even face the challenge to try controlling those messed up emotions of mine. I just don't want to hurt him.

♦Mercury ~ PAIN ~ Oneshot

Akira bit his lip, wrapping a hand around his wrist and wincing at both the jolts of pain he got from that. Blood leaked from between his fingers as he tried to stop the bleeding long enough to reach the bathroom and let the red liquid go down with water as he searched for the products to disinfect his wounds.

He closed his eyes, finding the bottle and picking it up with the two useful fingers left on his right hand, opening it to the best of his ability and pouring it on a piece of cotton he managed to reach. He passed it over his left wrist, cleaning the cuts and wincing again at the stinging feeling.

Sighing, he took some bandages and wrapped his wrist up, enough so a fingerless long glove he had would cover up the bandage if other people saw him. Then, the went back to the bedroom, slipping on that glove and staring at his hands. A dislocated finger, cuts on the wrist, a swollen, immobilized finger, all on the left hand. Two swollen and almost broken fingers on his right hand.

That would take at least two weeks to heal, and they had rehearsal during that… what would he say to the others? He was under lots of stress from the band, pressure at home and at the school for his sexuality and choices, people fighting with him over things he wasn’t guilty of…

When that person shouted at him, it was just too much for him to stand. He lost it, punched the wall and couldn’t resist that knife, to try and make the emotional pain and weight go out through bleeding. Just shallow cuts would be enough…

And now here he was, an hour before rehearsal, sitting on his bed with the worst face ever. He was crying again, the weight was back and the physical pain wasn’t making it any better. He couldn’t possibly play his bass in these conditions, and he had no idea what to say to Jupiter if he asked.

Fifty minutes later, his phone rang. It was the vocalist, as predicted, wanting to know where he was and if everything was okay. He answered normally, prepared his things and went to rehearsal, hoping no one would notice his difficulty in playing. Or the lump on his wrist, under the glove, that were his bandages. Or the swollen fingers, purple and red.

Could only hope.